Yes, My Lady
The day I met Lady Natsumi,
she was wearing a fuschia little dress.
Cute like a doll,
I knew at first sight I was no match for her.
With long chestnut hair and matching eyes,
if I were told she was a real princess,
I would believe it.
Lady Natsumi was also bright,
responsible,
and had a quirky sense of humor.
It was borderline-mockery,
with a fond teasing undertone.
When Lady Natsumi's mother passed away,
the light that shone on my life seemed to crack.
Her smiles became frowns;
cozy warmth a freezing wind.
People interpreted those attitudes as fit for the student council.
And so she became the president.
However,
behind her stern exterior,
was a girl who tried to be strong.
I studied and worked hard to be by her side,
so she wouldn't lose herself to that persona.
As the Vice-president,
I could stop her when she worked for too long,
and advise her against taking too many responsibilities.
I could stay with her long after school ended.
Lady Natsumi acknowledged my efforts
in the silent intimacy of the student council room.
At first, it was an implicit thank you,
but soon my heart pumped,
twisting her words.
"Sometimes, it seems you are the only one who understands me.
Sometimes, I wonder
if I forgot how to be a child."
--Thump --Thump.
It pumped hard against my chest.
I fidgeted,
a taboo desire crawled from the depths of my mind.
I pushed it away.
Day after day.
Not laying a finger on her.
But the truth soon came forth.
I had fallen for Lady Natsumi.
The sparkling chestnut eyes;
her luscious matching hair,
and the way she carried herself in school and outside.
She was a person that always had a piece of advice,
or a solution at hand.
The sight of her sent shivers through my body.
Naturally,
I was against her decision of joining our petty soccer team.
I became a jealous woman,
possessively bitter at the mirth she exuded around them.
Lady Natsumi kept an air of formality among the students,
so it was hard to imagine she would be interested in filthy boys.
But she wasn't like me.
Lady Natsumi would surely find a man one day.
After our school was reconstructed,
my feelings evolved to a caged beast.
The soccer field was visible from the President's office
where Lady Natsumi used to relax.
She was down there again,
just like during the Football Frontier,
the fight with Aliea Academy,
and now during the international tournament
--as a goddess who chose to mingle with mortals.
Sizzling betrayal boiled when Lady Natsumi told me she was going abroad.
"For Endou-kun?"
I asked,
hoping my voice didn't betray me as well.
"Yes, I'm going to look for his grandfather,"
she replied in a tone that said she had already made her mind.
Nothing I would say would change the inevitable.
". . . Why are you doing this for him?"
I asked respectfully,
pretending to be a confused friend,
rather than a broken-hearted fan.
"I am aware this seems foolish to others,
that this is an act unexpected of me.
While I do have a personal interest in Endou Daisuke,
I believe finding the truth would give Endou-kun some closure,
or perhaps happiness."
She giggled.
"It doesn't change the fact I am doing this out of love."
I couldn't keep the poker face,
or the lie.
"Natsumi," I chocked.
"Please don't go."
"I'm going."
I touched the edge of my glasses and looked away.
It would be too late when she's at the airport
walking
to the gate
climbing
the stairs
away
from
me.
"I have liked you for much longer.
More than Endou-kun."
So--"
The last words stumbled in my throat.
Lady Natsumi's shoulders tensed,
then relaxed like splashed water.
She was quiet for a long,
long time.
When she replied,
I thought it was my imagination.
"It may be because were are in my father's office,
but I'm very, very thankful for your feelings."
A cup clanked and she stood up,
wrapped her arms around me when I clasped my hands.
"I hope you find happiness with another girl,"
she whispered tenderly.
"You will always be important to me,
in my own way.
I will be there for you when you need me."
And so,
time passed.
The following year brought a few changes.
Lady Natsumi decided to stay abroad,
and a new president was chosen.
Mikado Anna.
Her poise was fragile,
her fluster transparent.
No matter how much the tried to fill Lady Natsumi's shoes,
she couldn't be a replacement.
I was the most vocal about it.
"I know," she said with a small pout.
Filling the hole she left comes with certain expectations."
I narrowed my gaze.
"You can't fulfill those expectations."
You aren't her."
She lowered her chin and slumped her shoulders,
a sight Lady Natsumi wouldn't have allowed herself.
"Do what you can do. The rest of the council is here to pick up the rest.
"And your mistakes," I added pointedly.
She beamed.
I looked away.
Mikado Anna was a normal girl,
almost boring.
She was clumsy,
and put up silly appearances.
She was honest about what she liked,
and what she didn't.
It was rare for her to hold her tongue,
but had enough delicacy to choose her words with care.
After working with her for a few months,
the times I compared her with Lady Natsumi lessened.
Until she decided to become a manager for Inakuni Raimon.
"Are you a fool?"
"I'm not."
She put her hands on her hips.
"I know what I am doing.
There is no rule the president can't join the club."
"I can handle it,"
uncertainty slipped in her tone.
I shook my head.
"You saw the match with Seishou Gakuen, didn't you?"
"Yes, the student council went together.
They obtained a sponsor despite their loss."
I narrowed my gaze to a sharp glare.
A feeling I had pushed down for some time rose back.
"We agreed the soccer club had to be disbanded in the last meeting," I reminded her.
Now you choose to change your mind,
a n d join them?"
She looked down and hugged herself.
"We agreed so because of their loss.
But perhaps we didn't give them a chance to prove themselves. . . "
she countered meekly.
"Who told you that?"
"The Coach. . ."
I shook my head and sighed.
"You are a fool,
easily manipulated,
and submissive."
The complete opposite of Lady Natsumi.
I crossed my arms and spoke non-committal.
"You made a decision.
Face the consequences."
Her face brightened,
and my heart skipped a beat.
I was convinced Mikado Anna wasn't a leader.
A kind smile when she spoke to those that needed help,
and a bashful attitude when she made a mistake.
As I sat on the chair of the student council president,
a hollow breeze swept the empty room.
I sighed,
telling myself I didn't miss her.
That wasn't the end of our interactions.
We met again in college.
She was a nurse major.
Due to financial issues,
we agreed to move in together,
if we found a place we were comfortable with.
I established my boundaries,
and threw away any thought of being something more than housemates.
Her shyness resurfaced when we made decisions,
and I couldn't stop myself from scoffing.
I caught myself thinking,
She's not Natsumi;
she will never be.
I don't want to be with a weak woman.
Unfortunately,
Mikado Anna had grown friendlier and chattier.
She knocked on my door every Friday with an invitation:
a movie on TV,
a ballet show in the theatre,
a festival,
and less interesting activities.
I told her she should use that time to study,
but after a few times, I said yes without a pause.
One day, we went to a party.
It was like how I envisioned it,
a smelly place with drunk college students.
I looked at Anna in her dress,
a deep blush as she stared at a couple eating their faces out.
She looked away.
"Um, should we go in?"
"Why did you want to come?"
I asked casually,
suppressing the urge to show my disgust.
"I was a little curious," she admitted.
"Do you hate it?"
We would turn back if I said yes,
despite Anna's interest.
She was selfless like that.
"I don't mind."
I tried a convincing shrug.
We found a sofa away from the crowd,
sat down with our drinks,
and spoke about topics that never came to mind when sober.
Anna stared at her cup.
"I see,
so you liked Natsumi Raimon.
You were close to her. . ."
"And she's finally dating Endou Mamoru."
I tried to take another sip,
but nothing slipped through my tongue.
"Fuck."
Anna giggled whimsically.
"What does she see in him?!" I yelled,
the music drowning my voice to a whisper.
"Natsumi is a goddess! She's perfect!
He's an idiot! He barely graduated high school!"
I slumped on the sofa.
"I need more alcohol.
Remembering my love-struck self is making me sick."
Anna offered to fill my cup;
I couldn't muster a no.
We continued laughing,
complaining,
and reminiscing.
"I couldn't forget the advice you gave me,"
Anna said.
"You were the only who told me the truth.
You were right.
I'm shy.
Weak.
The complete opposite of you.
And Natsumi-san."
"But!"
Her smile looked pained.
"Because you always said that,
I worked hard to change."
At some point,
we were shoulder-to-shoulder.
"I wonder if you have really changed,"
I slurred.
The world seemed to spin and stretch.
The walls I held in place melted like ice.
"You follow the rules I put to the letter;
you haven't complained since we moved in;
and yet you have managed to bring a hermit out of the mountain.
With that thin dress.
Not too tight,
or too loose."
I placed my hand on hers,
at the mercy of my drunk desires.
"You are cute,"
I whispered,
aware the words reached her when she blushed.
Our lips met.
The rest became a blur of hot breaths,
and caresses both soft and wild.
I woke up with a splitting headache,
a little more bearable when I found Anna's sleeping face beside me.
Peaceful,
soft.
I stretched a hand to her head,
and brushed her hair.
Anna opened her eyes,
and flashed that smile when we were younger.
"You aren't that weak girl from before," I said softly.
"Cunning fox."
She grinned like a child.
"Maybe what I wanted was someone completely different from Natsumi," I realized.
"I have been hung up on her,
like the only woman who could make my heart race.
But the reality was I kept comparing every girl to that unattainable figure."
Anna snuggled against me.
"I'm glad.
You finally looked at me."
"Now, stay by my side."
I smiled.
"Yes, My Lady."